Today I received an email from the KatyFit coach with a bunch of info for use in preparing to start training. It's embarrassing to admit how excited I was to get it. Apparently it doesn't take much to get me all worked up these days.
So, off I rushed to download the entire season's training plan and after reviewing it my thoughts were somewhere along the line of, wtf was I thinking? Then I shocked myself by thinking, I should have signed up for the half.. the half would have been easy. Oh yeah, says the woman who turtled through a 5k with an official time of 41:12. Easy-peasy as my colleague would say.
Once I reminded myself that this is not only a challenge, but in fact is also a birthday present to myself (the whole achievement thing), I moved on to my next fear ~ there aren't enough really LONG runs in there. Okay, pardon me but really, what do I know about this other than what I read? I barely know enough to know what's crap and what's good advice. Why on Earth would I question guidance from a national training organization?
Yep, you guessed it. I have already begun lining up excuses for failure. What's remarkable is that I only just realized that fact. I thought I was simply being a know-it-all and difficult, as I'm often prone to be. So tomorrow, when Joel asks why I was up typing after I logged my training data into the system, I'll be able to say I was having a lightbulb moment.
Speaking of those moments when you realize something profound, or less than profound, I'm anticipating another one soon. I've been eating everything that can't run from me and I don't know what the motivation behind that could be. Whatever it is, it isn't fun and it needs to end in a hurry. I've been under stress at work, but that's not anything new and it's good stress. I'm completely wigging out about something else but I can't put my finger on exactly what it is. By putting it out there into the Universe, I hope to release it.
I won't be a slave to that which won't show itself, ya know? That sounds a bit like a taunt, although it's not meant to be. No good reason exists to fret and agonize over something that's vague and lacking in clarity. Enough real horror is present to obsess about, if I choose to do it.
I choose not.